People around the world are using social media and dating apps to meet new people and make new friends, and maybe more. If you have an upcoming date with a Chinese person, then we have some things that could help you make the date run smoothly.
Even the Young Chinese Respect Tradition and Appreciate Manners
In China, manners and respect are incredibly important in most business and personal relationships, especially in the beginning.
The closer two Chinese people become, the more gradually informal their relationship becomes. This is true in business, friendships, and dating. When meeting and dating a Chinese person for the first time, always act with good manners and show respect both to them and to other people you meet and interact with.
Family is Important in China
On the first date with a Chinese person, expect to be asked a lot of questions about your family. You should ask your date a lot of questions about theirs, too.
The family unit is an important part of Chinese culture, and families often live very close to one another, often with extended families living in the same home or building. Make sure you take an interest in your date’s family and ask what they do. Remember names and occupations and congratulate your date on their family’s successes.
The Chinese Approach to Dating Apps is Still Evolving
Dating apps are still in their infancy in mainland China and are only just starting to see growth in their user bases. Dating apps were frowned upon initially and met with some friction.
You may find Chinese daters in Western apps such as these, used by people who are visiting the West or have moved there recently. In Chinese app dating, it is common to photoshop images, so bear this in mind when checking profiles.
In Chinese Relationships Everyone Should ‘Save Face’
Chinese social conflict resolution is all about both parties ‘saving face’, and not looking like they lost out.
Shame and fame are important social commodities in Chinese culture, and if you are going to make compromises with a Chinese date, you need to make ones that don’t damage anyone’s pride or reputation. If you give in to your date’s demands, they may see you as weak and lose interest. If you are too demanding and headstrong yourself, you may damage their pride and they will avoid you in the future.
Chinese Culture is Built on Stories – Your Relationship Will Be Too
It is not uncommon in China for two people to be carrying matching or complementary items when they first meet for a date, such as a flower or fruit, or wear an item of clothing like a hat.
This is to create a beginning for your story as a couple, should the relationship be successful. This is a story for the family to tell their friends and neighbors when your relationship blossoms, and hopefully be the start of a wonderful romance. Don’t be surprised if you’re asked to bring something to a date, and make sure you do. Otherwise, you could be written off by your date at the start.
Dating can cause a lot of anxiety and stress before the first meeting, so do some research and find out a few things before meeting someone for the first time. Knowledge is power, and smart is sexy.
I asked my coworker she is 50 years old divorced she is been in this country 5 years. I asked her out to dinner and told her that I had a crush on her in Chinese text (I wanted to ask you in person but I’d like to take you to dinner 我想带你出去吃饭 so sorry I’m crushing on you 我暗恋你)
She never said yes or no.
A few days later I picked up a used appliance at her condo a few days after I had asked her out (still no answer at this point) she had dinner for me when I arrived. I don’t know what to make of this?
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Gilbert! Being a Chinese, I would say that Chinese ladies wouldn’t like to give a direct answer as to yes or no according to their mentalities. I would advise you to try another two or three times to see how she is going to react. Meanwhile, try not to be too persistent as Chinese ladies prefer to implicitly express their thoughts, especially when it comes to love relations. Wish you good luck 🍀